By:  Bivins                                            S.R. No. 684
    1-1                           SENATE RESOLUTION
    1-2        WHEREAS, The practice of Texas Governors rewarding loyal,
    1-3  hard-working campaign drones with plum appointments is a
    1-4  well-established, if somewhat unsavory practice; and
    1-5        WHEREAS, James B. Francis, Jr., was a loyal campaign
    1-6  volunteer, working endless hours licking envelopes, making phone
    1-7  calls, and stapling yard signs; and
    1-8        WHEREAS, James B. Francis, Jr., has always aspired to a
    1-9  career in law enforcement, but failed the mental as well as physical
   1-10  tests, even for the position of an extra in the movie, "Police
   1-11  Academy 6"; and
   1-12        WHEREAS, Mr. Francis has received extensive training in law
   1-13  enforcement methods and procedures, beginning under Lieutenant Trag
   1-14  and Deputy Barney Fife, Detectives Gannon and Friday, and continuing
   1-15  under T. J. Hooker and "Car 54" and "One Adam 12"; and
   1-16        WHEREAS, Mr. Francis is today a devoted viewer of "NYPD Blue"
   1-17  and "Law and Order" and owns the entire set of video episodes of
   1-18  "Highway Patrol," starring Broderick Crawford; and
   1-19        WHEREAS, Mr. Francis has intimate and lengthy personal
   1-20  knowledge of the operation of certain law enforcement agencies,
   1-21  including but not limited to the New Orleans Police Department and
   1-22  the Jefferson Parish Sheriffs Department; and
   1-23        WHEREAS, Senatorial courtesy includes the right of any Senator
    2-1  to have expunged from the record any involvement a Senator may or
    2-2  may not have had in such incidents, really harmless youthful pranks,
    2-3  that brought them into contact with said law enforcement agencies
    2-4  while in the presence of Mr. Francis; and
    2-5        WHEREAS, Mr. Francis is known for his adherence to and
    2-6  advocacy of strict gun safety rules, particularly the admonition to
    2-7  never, never, never, ever leave a live round in the chamber when
    2-8  placing a rifle on the rack of a hunting vehicle; and
    2-9        WHEREAS, Mrs. James B. Francis, Jr., a/k/a "Debbie," believes
   2-10  Mr. Francis looks "cute" when he wears a pistol and holster; and
   2-11        WHEREAS, Mr. Francis can commit only minor damage with said
   2-12  pistol, given that he has only one bullet for it and it is filled
   2-13  with rat shot; and
   2-14        WHEREAS, Mr. Francis would be the absolutely last person in
   2-15  Texas to abuse the perks of a high office, but now has available
   2-16  for sale a slightly used Cincinnati Microwave Super Snooper Radar
   2-17  Detector, Model 540C; and
   2-18        WHEREAS, Governor George W. Bush has a world-renowned and
   2-19  finely honed sense of humor, expressed especially in his
   2-20  appointments; now, therefore, be it
   2-21        RESOLVED, That the Senate of the State of Texas,
   2-22  74th Legislature, hereby recognize, but not applaud, the elevation
   2-23  of James B. Francis, Jr., to the Texas Department of Public Safety
   2-24  Commission, offer our sincerest and most heartfelt condolences to
   2-25  the officers of the Department for what they face in the time ahead,
    3-1  and call upon the Almighty to protect the people of our great state
    3-2  during its coming six years of trials and tribulations.
    3-3                               ______________________________________
    3-4                                       President of the Senate
    3-5                                    I hereby certify that the above
    3-6                               Resolution was adopted by the Senate
    3-7                               on April 11, 1995.
    3-8                               ______________________________________
    3-9                                       Secretary of the Senate
   3-10                               ______________________________________
   3-11                                        Member, Texas Senate