By: Bivins S.R. No. 684 1-1 SENATE RESOLUTION 1-2 WHEREAS, The practice of Texas Governors rewarding loyal, 1-3 hard-working campaign drones with plum appointments is a 1-4 well-established, if somewhat unsavory practice; and 1-5 WHEREAS, James B. Francis, Jr., was a loyal campaign 1-6 volunteer, working endless hours licking envelopes, making phone 1-7 calls, and stapling yard signs; and 1-8 WHEREAS, James B. Francis, Jr., has always aspired to a 1-9 career in law enforcement, but failed the mental as well as physical 1-10 tests, even for the position of an extra in the movie, "Police 1-11 Academy 6"; and 1-12 WHEREAS, Mr. Francis has received extensive training in law 1-13 enforcement methods and procedures, beginning under Lieutenant Trag 1-14 and Deputy Barney Fife, Detectives Gannon and Friday, and continuing 1-15 under T. J. Hooker and "Car 54" and "One Adam 12"; and 1-16 WHEREAS, Mr. Francis is today a devoted viewer of "NYPD Blue" 1-17 and "Law and Order" and owns the entire set of video episodes of 1-18 "Highway Patrol," starring Broderick Crawford; and 1-19 WHEREAS, Mr. Francis has intimate and lengthy personal 1-20 knowledge of the operation of certain law enforcement agencies, 1-21 including but not limited to the New Orleans Police Department and 1-22 the Jefferson Parish Sheriffs Department; and 1-23 WHEREAS, Senatorial courtesy includes the right of any Senator 2-1 to have expunged from the record any involvement a Senator may or 2-2 may not have had in such incidents, really harmless youthful pranks, 2-3 that brought them into contact with said law enforcement agencies 2-4 while in the presence of Mr. Francis; and 2-5 WHEREAS, Mr. Francis is known for his adherence to and 2-6 advocacy of strict gun safety rules, particularly the admonition to 2-7 never, never, never, ever leave a live round in the chamber when 2-8 placing a rifle on the rack of a hunting vehicle; and 2-9 WHEREAS, Mrs. James B. Francis, Jr., a/k/a "Debbie," believes 2-10 Mr. Francis looks "cute" when he wears a pistol and holster; and 2-11 WHEREAS, Mr. Francis can commit only minor damage with said 2-12 pistol, given that he has only one bullet for it and it is filled 2-13 with rat shot; and 2-14 WHEREAS, Mr. Francis would be the absolutely last person in 2-15 Texas to abuse the perks of a high office, but now has available 2-16 for sale a slightly used Cincinnati Microwave Super Snooper Radar 2-17 Detector, Model 540C; and 2-18 WHEREAS, Governor George W. Bush has a world-renowned and 2-19 finely honed sense of humor, expressed especially in his 2-20 appointments; now, therefore, be it 2-21 RESOLVED, That the Senate of the State of Texas, 2-22 74th Legislature, hereby recognize, but not applaud, the elevation 2-23 of James B. Francis, Jr., to the Texas Department of Public Safety 2-24 Commission, offer our sincerest and most heartfelt condolences to 2-25 the officers of the Department for what they face in the time ahead, 3-1 and call upon the Almighty to protect the people of our great state 3-2 during its coming six years of trials and tribulations. 3-3 ______________________________________ 3-4 President of the Senate 3-5 I hereby certify that the above 3-6 Resolution was adopted by the Senate 3-7 on April 11, 1995. 3-8 ______________________________________ 3-9 Secretary of the Senate 3-10 ______________________________________ 3-11 Member, Texas Senate