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R E S O L U T I O N
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WHEREAS, The Honorable Elliott Naishtat claims that he is |
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celebrating his 70th birthday on February 15, 2015, despite |
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everyone's conclusion that their party invitation must have gotten |
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lost in the mail; and |
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WHEREAS, This Brooklyn native served as a VISTA volunteer in |
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Eagle Pass and San Antonio, but he was deemed too weird by both |
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communities and was permanently exiled to Austin, where he ended up |
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getting a gig in the Texas Legislature for 13 terms and counting; |
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and |
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WHEREAS, While Elliott, also known as the Hebrew Hammer, |
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Mighty Mensch, and Tenacious Member of the Tribe, is well known for |
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his social consciousness and dedication to the Texas Legislature, |
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he is particularly famous for his unmatched devotion to |
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all-you-can-eat buffets and his extraordinary collection of |
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take-home plastic containers; and |
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WHEREAS, Representative Naishtat has invested a lifetime |
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honing his considerable skills scrounging free food from friends, |
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relatives, constituents, and the wedding receptions of complete |
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strangers; and |
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WHEREAS, A recent visit to a Minneapolis hospital has |
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inspired him to forgo any participation in this year's Tour de |
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France cycling race and to spend his time instead mastering his |
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culinary skills in the arts of preprepared granola and boiled eggs; |
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and |
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WHEREAS, His insatiable appetite for current events and the |
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news has contributed to the accumulation of decades' worth of New |
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York Times issues, which are neatly arranged and sorted into piles |
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in his garage, waiting to be read and edited; and |
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WHEREAS, The irony is inescapable that Representative |
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Naishtat has himself awarded an estimated 93 percent of his |
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constituents with their own birthday resolutions; if this |
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resolution were a bill, it would almost certainly be vetoed by the |
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governor; and |
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WHEREAS, His leadership and grit fighting for working |
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families has established a high standard that has guided many of his |
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colleagues throughout his distinguished 24 years in office; he has |
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been recognized by numerous community organizations, including the |
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AARP, the American Cancer Society, the Sierra Club, the Texas |
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Council on Family Violence, the Texas Freedom Network, Public |
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Citizen, and the National Association of Social Workers; and |
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WHEREAS, It is with the utmost respect and honor that the |
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members of this chamber wish him mazel tov on the occasion of his |
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70th birthday; now, therefore, be it |
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RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives of the 84th Texas |
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Legislature hereby commemorate the 70th birthday of the Honorable |
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Elliott Naishtat, the dean of the Travis County delegation, |
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assuming he is still awake by the time this final clause is read, |
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and extend to him best wishes for a truly memorable birthday |
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celebration; and, be it further |
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RESOLVED, That an official copy of this resolution be |
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prepared for Representative Naishtat as an expression of high |
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regard by the Texas House of Representatives. |